You check a family member’s DNA (that you manage because you manage all the family DNA) and there it is: a new match (let’s call her M) with a name you don’t recognize. 62 cM–not huge but not insignificant. Check Shared Matches—yep M’s DNA falls into a specific line. Her meagre tree points to a grandfather with a single name, no surname (in fact the name is his middle name). I immediately know who the grandfather is.
The scenario: He (the grandfather) is a very prominent person in a large Canadian city. His wife is the daughter of an equally prominent figure in Canadian history. Together they are considered ‘royalty’ in the city near which they live. I look again at the dates of M’s mother’s life and start to do a bit of record searching to see what else I can find. In terms of scandal this does not look good—and this branch of family has never been known for scandal. I would have considered them squeaky clean.
How many of us have mistakenly thought our family was free of illegitimate children, bigamists, convicts or other less favourable characters?
I pull up the messaging part of Ancestry and start to write a message. “Hello M. I apologize for not checking in sooner—I see you are a new DNA match to my mom and looks like you’re referencing Mr. Prominent (using his full name). Between my mother, a cousin and myself this family is very well researched and I love meeting new cousins. Perhaps I can help you by passing along some of my research to you. This is my email if you prefer to contact me offline. Cheers Sue.”
The truth: Mr. Prominent had a second family with three children born concurrently with his first family. M’s story reveals to me that her grandmother (Ms. #2) was well provided for financially. A large property was purchased for her in her name and it was self-sustaining, making income for the family. Each of the children had the best education. What it doesn’t tell me is the stigma Ms. #2 and her children endured for knowing that they were the second, not-talked-about, family.
Every census, newspaper article; of engagements, marriages or deaths mentions a Mr. #2 — but we know he is a ghost, a placeholder to the truth of the relationship. Her story eludes to family #1 being aware of family #2. Certainly #2 was aware of #1.
Food (& questions) for thought:
Have you found samples of these relationships in your tree or DNA matches?
How did you feel about this?
Did you include them in your tree?
What other questions arise for you?
To me, M is yet another fabulous cousin with an interesting tale that lives in my tree. Yes I added her and each of her uncles along with all the descendants names she provided to me in her story.
What would you do?